Rehab

Coincidentally, we did a dancing and singing number last weekend about Rehab. We were in the karioake contest at the Sweet Potatoes Queens [tm] Annual Parade & Festival. One friend was dressed as Amy Winehouse and the remaining three of us were all dressed as rocker chicks complete with fishnets, black boots, short skirts, and of course, our "Property of Betty Ford Clinic" t-shirts with "Betty 1" (and so on) on the back.

That was Saturday night. The same night my husband got an DWI. The topic of alcohol is not so funny now.

The following days were filled with manic-ness (I was trying desperately to enjoy my birthday with my friends), frustration, anger, lots of crying, ugly words and uncertainty. And that all melded into numbness and fear. Those two feelings seem to be at opposing ends of the spectrum, but then again with the amazingly disabling disease of alcoholism, any combination of emotions is possible.

I find it ironic that I can believe in what God says for my life - that He wants something better for me, and I trust His word and truly believe that, for me, there will be positive change. But I cannot seem to imagine the alcoholics in my life being changed by God. Again two conflicting ideas within the same framework of one idea: faith. But then again, today is only Day 3 and I have only been to 2 Al-Anon meetings so far.

There are 2 thrones in my life at present. Obviously, the Throne of God. Which is what I am clinging to with the bare scraps of my fingernails these days. I have spent the last five months rebuilding my relationship with God. It is a daily comfort and necessity. It is like talking to your best friend - you know, the one who loves you no matter what, but will still give you "straight talk" when you ask for advice. It has taken me a long time to get here with Him, and I am uncompromisingly adamant that I will not give Him up, or the peace that He brings me every day.

The other throne is figurative - the throne of The Queen. Not of England, but a self-appointed queen who happens to be able to write hilarity into existence and has created a cult-like following that rivals the Kool-Aid drinkers. But with a beautiful and very important twist. This Queen, who bears the given name of Jill Conner Browne, has written a series of books that have changed the lives of women for the better. She not only wants to share her joy, but she wants to help convey her formula for living a better life to those who will listen and/or read. In short, she wants for her fans, something similar to what God wants for us: to live life and live it abundantly.

By Queenly standards, she admits, the other way to deal with a sad topic (besides eatin' or cryin') is to treat it with laughter. And that is what I plan to do here.

I want to take what knowledge God gives through my friends, my counselor, my Al-Anon program, and my own discovery, and combine it with my queenly experiences to help me cope with the sometimes unbearable pain in my life caused by my dysfunctional family due to the long-term effects of alcoholism.

With that being said, onward to the Poonsicle Chronicles - my personal interpretation of my weekly experiences with the alcoholic(s) in my life.

Stay Tuned for more details.